What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 27.06.2025 01:27
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
If you have curly hair, when should you brush it?
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Is it recommended to leave a note in a lost wallet asking for it to be returned?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Which sunblock is best for oily skin?
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Illum autem fuga doloremque est quod delectus id.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
TEXT:
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.